This Is How I MomSolving the puzzle of motherhood one piece at a time

I suppose I should make these things monthly updates instead of weekly since we’ve hit the point where no one except mommies count in weeks anymore. However, I do have to say the little guy has developed a lot of new skills since the 12-week update! I’m pretty impressed. All right, where to start…

Sleep: Sleep’s still going well. We hit a new record of 9 1/2 hours last night, actually! Mommy on the other hand is hitting sleep regression. SIDS anxiety is getting to me. Regardless; he sleeps anywhere from 7 – 9 1/2 hours at night, then is up for 2 hours, then takes a nap, then is up another 2 – 2 1/2 hours, then takes another nap and then might be up for the remainder of the day or take another (short) nap around 5pm. Pretty predictable, right? Love it. Hope it keeps up. *knock on wood* The last awake stretch can last 5-7 hours and is sometimes exhausting (he gets cranky when he’s tired), but since daddy is around for it, we share the task of cheering him up.

Physical Skills: Something I’ve been getting a little worried about is finally a non-issue! Little man is starting to get mobile. Tummy time (on the playmet!) is suddenly not torturous anymore, and he’s actually interested in the pictures on the mat. Since he’s been completely hating tummy time that didn’t take place on my tummy until about 2 days ago, that’s a pretty huge step. I know that his neck muscles have been getting better since he’s been keeping his head up like a champ on my tummy, but the fact that he doesn’t mind doing it on his mat now is very reassuring.

He hasn’t done a full tummy-to-back roll yet, but he’s very close to it. Last time I helped him do it I barely touched him, so hopefully we’re getting close there. When he’s on his back on me or the couch, he rolls over to his tummy with ease. He does roll from his back to his side on a completely flat surface, but hasn’t rolled over all the way on flat ground yet.

He also always has his legs way up in the air. He’s been starting to touch his own feet, but he doesn’t pull them into his mouth yet or anything. Still, I think he’s starting to get interested in them and realize they’re part of him.

He grabs and holds toys like a champ. I’m always late in getting out the camera, but this illustrates it pretty well:

And yes, there’s tons of toys and blankets in his crib since I only have him in it to play right now. I’m kinda trying to get him used to it… maybe we’ll try a nap in there soon.

Mental Development: He’s definitely making leaps here. He’s interested in *everything*. Daddy and I top the list, but all his toys and teddies aren’t far behind. If you put a toy in front of him, he’ll carefully touch it, then try to hold it, then try to put it in his mouth. He’s also starting to figure out some “if-then” sequences. As example, we have a Baby Einstein music box toy. When you push the big button on it, it’ll start playing music or change the tune. For a few days, I showed him how it works by taking his hand and pushing the button with it. Now, he does it himself. He doesn’t always succeed since the button takes quite a bit of force to push and you need to push in the very middle of it, but he knows what it does and how to do it.

He still talks literally all day long. When he wakes up from a nap, he babbles. When he eats, he babbles (and gives himself hiccups by doing it). When I (or anyone else) talks to him, he talks back. I did a video chat with my parents the other day, and for the entire half hour the boy would not shut up. He also pushed his music box 4 times and held Sophie all by himself for minutes. Of course, they were thrilled. I swear he knows when people are watching. Our neighbors stopped by the other day and he smiled at them, rolled over twice and talked. Little show off.

Other than that.. well, absolutely everything still goes into his mouth. His favorite thing to have in his mouth is his fist. He’ll settle for a few fingers too if the whole fist won’t fit.

He’s still very amiable on the whole. When he cries, I can usually calm him down within a minute. *knock on wood* We get smiles, squeals, laughs a-plenty every day and it makes my heart melt. The last three months, without a doubt, have been the best of my life.

I’ve been avoiding this post, I really have… but what’s the point, really? It is what it is.

I’ve not been so lucky as it seems most of the recently-turned-mommy bloggers that I follow are. At three months postpartum, I’ve lost 35 pounds of the glorious pregnancy-60 I gained. I know, you’re not impressed. Neither am I. When I realized I’d gained 60, I figured “hey, I’m breastfeeding anyway, that’ll help me lose a lot!” Foiled. Stopped breastfeeding 3 weeks in due to low supply. Then I figured “Well, I stopped breastfeeding, now I can diet!” and so I have. At a pace of about 1 pound per week on a fairly strict diet, all the while lugging around a 15-pound baby.

It could be worse really, I’m seeing a consistent decline in weight.. I just somehow I always thought I’d be one of the lucky ones that either doesn’t gain much or loses it fairly effortlessly. But that’s enough dwelling on the bad. Here’s the good!

• I currently sit at 147.2lbs, which is still a good 20 pounds over what I’m comfortable with, but I’m chipping away at it.

• I am starting to fit back into size 6 jeans! There’s still a muffin top, so I’m sticking with my 8s for now.. but hey, they close! I’ll get back to size 4 eventually.

• My face doesn’t really reflect my poundage. When I originally lost weight, my face was a lot chubbier and I didn’t see near as many bones on my body as I do now. The double chin only makes an appearance from very, very unfortunate angles.

• I actually don’t mind my shape. Yep, there’s excess poundage, but given the right clothes, I’m pretty shapely.

• No back fat! One of the things that I hated the most about being overweight back in the day did not make a return.

• I feel the muscle in my arms and abs, it’s just covered by a layer of chub. Regardless, it’s there, waiting to be uncovered!

So all in all, I’m really not doing that badly. By summer, I should be back in my size 4s I hope! While I do have full body weight comparison shots, I won’t post them yet. I’ll post a comparison when I’m happy with myself, because really – I don’t need to dwell on how poofy I am – I just need to work on it. Take these pictures instead.

Could be much worse.

7:58 Alarm rings. Had nightmare about killing own baby. Not good. Husband comes into bedroom to tell me good morning. I tell him about dream. He gets baby from his bed to show me he’s quite alive. Logan gives me big morning smile. Happy.

8:05 Getting baby’s bottle ready while he’s on the verge of being unhappy cause of hunger. Finally have bottle ready. Daddy goes to bed.

8:07 Feeding baby while I turn on Korean drama on Hulu. Hold hands with baby and relax. Do diaper after he’s had enough to not be starving.

8:37 Baby is done eating. We talk and play on the couch for a while. First up: tummy time, then we practice rolling off mommy.

9:05 Put baby on playmat for 10 minutes while I do the dishes my husband left.

9:15 Play with baby on playmat. Show him various toys. His new favorite is Baby Einstein’s music box thing.

9:30 Walk around house with baby. Show him the rain outside, the mirror, the kitchen & the Christmas tree that’s still up. Woops.

9:40 Put baby into swing for his nap. He falls asleep within 10 minutes. I make coffee and breakfast, go online, blog, check traffic, interact with my mom group, check news, read on the kindle, play triple town on phone, clean bottles and random kitchen things.

11:40 Baby wakes up. Get bottle ready, change his diaper, start feeding him while trusty Korean drama plays.

12:05 Baby is done eating. Play with him for a while, but he gets bored. Notice how incredibly dirty the floor is. Pick up entire floor and daddy’s desk while baby watches helps, then dig out the vacuum cleaner.

12:35 Vacuum whole lower story. Baby watches but does not like vacuum cleaner. Looks at me like vacuum is gonna eat me. Probably too loud. Feel sorry but want to get it done, so occasionally walk over to him and smooch him.

13:20 Done with cleaning. Put vacuum away, prep a 2 ounce top-off bottle for baby and sit down with him. Feed him a little, but he nods off pretty quickly.

13:35 Put baby into his swing for nap. He wakes up again when I put him down, talks to his mobile for a few minutes and then passes out again. Make a sandwich while he’s still awake.

13:50 Am a sweaty mess from vacuuming. Seize my chance and take a shower after he falls asleep.

14:25 Finish drying my hair and getting dressed. Walk back downstairs. Baby still asleep. Still hungry. Make another sandwich. Go online to check up on blogs, but get quickly distracted by phone game called Triple Town. Play this for remainder of the nap.

16:30 Wake up daddy. No luck, still pooped out. Fine. Go back downstairs.

16:35 Baby wakes. Prep bottle, change his diaper, start feeding. Realize I’m almost running out of Korean drama. Uh-oh.

16:55 Poopy. Clean diaper. BIG poopy. Resume feeding.

17:05 More tummy time on mommy. He tolerates it for a little, but quickly voices his unhappiness, so we move on to rolls.

17:30 Daddy comes downstairs. Daddy and baby have a chat. Cute. Am blubbery mess of happy watching them.

17:50 Baby stuck in perpetual unhappiness. Very unusual, especially after daddy is awake. Think vacuum must’ve been more scarring than originally thought.

18:00 Take baby upstairs to prep a bath. He likes baths. This should do the trick.

18:07 Undress baby and put him into bath. Am rewarded with happy squeals on both occasions. Yessss.

18:20 Finish up bath. Put baby into towel and massage him with lotion. Am still rewarded with happiness.

18:25 Put baby’s clothes back on. Sadness is threatening to make a return. Call daddy to take baby downstairs while I clean up the tub.

18:30 Go downstairs. Prep another bottle. Sit down with baby and daddy in office. Baby still cranky. Notice I’m hungry. Pass cranky baby off to husband after showing him trick of keeping baby happy temporarily (it’s to put him into his rock’n'play and pull him through the entire house at fast pace. Homeboy gonna be a racecar driver).

18:35 Make my dinner which consists of whole wheat rotini and ketchup. Healthy.

18:45 Eat. Daddy’s rocking baby.

18:55 Take baby. Feed him. Temporarily happy.

19:20 Baby done feeding. Entertain him with Baby Einstein’s music box thing and Sophie the Giraffe.

20:00 Time to make daddy’s dinner. Put rock’n'play into the kitchen and put baby into it. Entertain baby by talking about how he’s gonna be such a good kitchen help in the future. Am rewarded with huge happy baby squeals. Yessss.

20:05 Daddy tries to film the baby squeals. Foiled.

20:20 Daddy’s dinner is done. Make new bottle. Return to office with baby.

20:30 Feed baby. He’s sleepy and nods off for a few minutes.

20:40 Wake baby. Try a variety of things to keep him awake. Eventually settle on playmat.

21:00 Play with baby on playmat.

21:30 chomp on Sophie. That’s baby, not me.

21:40 Make new bottle. Only fill it up to 4oz. Feed baby.

22:00 Change baby’s diaper. Read a book. Start putting him down to sleep.

22:40 Baby is asleep in his rock’n'play. Hooray!

22:40 Have some mommy-daddy time.

23:20 Get ready for bed.

23:30 Read.

24:00 Lights out.

Usually, we try to go out once a day.. but with the crappy Seattle weather and Logan hating the cold (he’ll actually start crying 3 minutes after we get outside, even though he usually likes being outside… and yes, I do bundle him up well), this hasn’t been much of an option the past few weeks. Hopefully it’ll warm up soon.

I was fully expecting that my husband and I would have to go through a trying time after our son arrived. I mean… parenting is a completely new thing to both of us and we’re two independent human beings with differing opinions. Add onto that the strain and stress of a new baby and it seems you have a recipe for disaster.

Unexpectedly though, it seems our relationship has only grown stronger. Seeing him as a father and how lovingly he treats our son makes my heart melt in a completely new way. We don’t argue about the little things, and quite frankly I don’t care if the diapers he does are a little loose. Baby’s not gonna be any worse for the wear and it certainly doesn’t warrant any disagreements.

I very willingly spend the majority of the time with the baby and my husband helps out when I ask him to – which means I get to shower while he entertains Logan, he helps prep the food when I’m otherwise tangled up, when I’m really knackered (thankfully doesn’t happen too often) he brings the baby to bed, when Logan’s been crying for an hour he gives me a break to clear my head and, most importantly, he provides the emotional support and stability that I need. If I’m in a bad mood or had a rough day, my husband will do everything he can to cheer me up.

Sometimes, that consists of cooking/bringing home dinner, other times it’s a long hug and maybe a movie, and yet other times he takes me shopping. In return, I try to keep my act together, take care of the house, cook dinner, tell him how much I appreciate and love him and try to be the best mother and wife that I know how to be. I phrase it that way because there are an awful lot of things that I just kinda learn as I go along. I guess we all have to start somewhere.

Respect has always been a huge aspect in our relationship. We rarely get mad at each other and when we do, we don’t yell or curse at each other. We talk about our thoughts and feelings on the matter and make up (eventually). Sometimes it takes a while to get there while one of us silently pouts (mostly me.. hey, nobody’s perfect), but we always make up. I feel that mutual respect is really the aspect that makes our relationship so successful. There are others of course – trust, love, gentility, fun, common hobbies, communication (and many more) – but unconditional respect is something that I’ve never had in a relationship before, and it amplifies all the other reasons I love him.

I’m very glad that the respect is still there after baby. Of course, we have what anyone would probably call an “easy baby”, but I have no doubt that even with a colicky bad sleeper we would’ve pulled through not much worse for the wear.

I’ve loved my husband for years and didn’t think I could possibly love him any more. But now that he’s the dad to my son, I know that I was wrong. Yes, we’re that couple. And he gave me this:

I never knew there was so much love in my heart.

My husband and I have completely different tastes. Since I lost a good 70lbs about 6 years ago, I’ve been eating pretty healthy. I like veggies, poultry and whole grains while my hubby prefers carbs, sausage and cheese. I used to cook separately for both of us and I didn’t really mind… I had the spare time and cooking is my hobby, so it seemed like a win-win situation. However, I want my child to learn good eating habits and I also want to start taking meals together.

Right now, things still are kind of a-jumble. My husband sleeps from 8am-4pm, so his eating rhythm is completely different from mine. Yet again, I find myself cooking separately for both of us.

Logan is starting to become very interested in food, so I make sure to always let him watch me eat when he’s awake. He hasn’t grabbed food yet, but I think within a month or two he’ll be ready to start slowly on solids. My plan is to introduce one type of food per week and have him get a taste of oatmeal cereal, bananas, avocados, sweet potato and squash by the time he’s 6 months old. Then we’ll branch out to all the fun stuff.

That also means that by the time he’s 6 months old, I want to have at least one family meal that we can all eat together at the table. Hopefully, my husband’s and my sleep schedule will be aligned by then, so I don’t totally throw him off by having his dinner prepared when he wakes up. I guess there are worse things, but I know my digestive system would revolt.

I might start looking into some “his and her” recipes, so instead of preparing two completely different meals, I can just make some changes to adjust his part of dinner to his liking. I think it might preserve my sanity.

Any tips on how to make having a meal together as a new family easier?

I have a rule that I apply to everything that happens in my life, the good and the bad alike, but especially the bad. It’s gotten quite some use over the years. The rule is simple: Everything that doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. All the positive things that happen; everything that makes me love life and my family – all these times and memories I stockpile in my mind and focus on. I don’t dwell on the bad. But of course, the bad happens too… we work through it and move on. I apply this rule to parenting as well.

When Logan has a bad day and I can’t figure out what he needs from me, I know that this experience will teach me something and I’ll be a better mother for it in the end. When the couch and myself are soaked in pee, I know I’ll be a second faster in disaster prevention next time. When both me and Logan are covered in spit-up, I know that my patience is growing. When I have to watch him get his shots, I know that even though I hate seeing him in pain, he and I will be stronger for enduring it. When we discover a new toy, I know he’s expanding his knowledge of the world and I’m expanding my knowledge of what my little guy likes. When he smiles at me, I’m a puddle of happy, sappy, loving, loved mush.

Every single moment of being a mother teaches me something new, the good and the bad alike. No experience is without some sort of result. No hard moment goes by without me learning something new.

I like learning. It makes me more efficient at handling a similar situation in the future. While my attentions are focused on helping Logan learn about the world… I think the little guy helps me learn just as much.

Logan’s interest in toys is definitely ever-changing. Putting him on his playmat now has him bored within a minute – I don’t think he’s much interested in toys that don’t actually do anything but hang there.

On the other hand, he’s starting to really like rubbing fabrics on his face and chewing on things. If a toy moves, like the mobile in his swing, he’s completely fascinated by it and just stares at it and talks to it for a long time (as a matter of fact, right now we’re going on 20 minutes of happy baby coos from the swing).

If a toy makes noise, like Sophie the Giraffe teether, he’s really into them. Sophie actually calms him down when he’s tired or just generally cranky – I’ll show her to him, he’ll stare at her and start touching her gently, then we slowly move on to her real purpose…

She stays in there for pretty long amounts of time too. I don’t even have to help. He’s gotten her to squeak by himself a few times, but mostly he just holds her in a deadlock and happily chews on her.

I keep a blue bear lovie-blanket in his swing and drape it over his legs and feet when he’s napping. With his recent love for fabrics, the lovie ends up in his mouth or on his face a few minutes after I put him into his swing and I actually have to go retrieve it so he doesn’t fall asleep like that. How he actually gets it there.. I have yet to see. I guess he must actually grab onto it somehow.

Everything that he’s capable of holding and moving (he lets go of heavy things pretty quickly, he’ll drag light things around for a while) goes in his mouth. That includes various parts of mommy and mommy’s clothing. I tell myself it’s cute. Sometimes I almost believe it.

He also loves being naked and getting dressed. Diaper changes are probably one of his favorite times of the day. Yes, really. He *loves* getting dressed. When I lay out a new outfit, he’ll coo. As soon as I start putting him into it, I get the cutest giggles and laughs. My kid is weird. But, in his defense… I greatly enjoy it too.

Another week has passed and our little guy has *almost* reached his 3-month milestone. Almost. But for now, he’s 12 weeks, which sounds plenty grown-up to me. I estimate his weight/height to be around 15lbs and 25 inches, but we don’t have another doctor’s appointment until early March (seems so far away, but I know it’s not).

Logan doesn’t change as much on a week-by-week basis as he used to, but there are still a few things each week that are “unusual”, “more frequent” or “new”. Yesterday, for instance, we were playing with his Sophie and he actually made his best effort to grab her and shove her (gently.. he’s very gentle with his toys. And actually, basically anything) into his mouth. He had a few “does not fit” and “wrong way” moments, but a few times he got one of the giraffe bits into his chompers. Why, only a mom can be proud of toys covered in spittle.

He’s becoming more interested in toys in general. Some he grabs, but most often he’ll focus on one I show him and just.. touch it. Lightly. Interestedly. As I said, he’s very gentle.

There have also been quite a few laugh/squeal with happiness moments, but they’re usually reserved for daddy. Mommy gets smiles and conversation and the occasional laugh/squeal of joy, but daddy gets them every time he smiles at the guy. I think it’s cause I’m always around and he takes me for granted (in a loving way, of course), whereas having daddy around is more of a treat. Oh well, fine by me. They’re adorable together.

When Logan is on my tummy doing tummy time, he tries to roll off every single time. I now reflexively put my arms up around either side of him so he has a cushioned landing. He still rolls from back to belly on surfaces like the couch, but he can’t do it in his crib or on his playmat yet.

He tries to sit up. It’s so cute. He’ll lift up his feet (very high) and upper body (not so high) in an attempt to get more upright. Eventually, I usually give in and put him upright on my chest, and he’ll still try to be *more* upright. Gravity is more forgiving in this position and he actually manages to lift himself. Again, the protective arm thing comes in handy. This guy is getting mobile!

His sleep pattern deviates slightly each night, but we still usually get an 8 hour stretch at night (10:30-11pm until 6:30/7am) followed by another 2-3 hours, and then 1-2 good-sized daytime naps.

His hands can still be found in his mouth most of the time and he still really likes bath time. His poops have gone down from twice a day to about once every two days and we found out that he really likes going out in the Ergo. That’s about it for this week! Next week I’ll do the 3-month update.

Up until this point, our grocery trips have either been done while my mother-in-law babysits Logan or by lugging his entire travel system to the store – carseat and stroller. See, putting his carseat in the front part of the cart doesn’t work cause it’s too big, and putting it into the cart leaves little room for groceries.. so my husband usually steers the cart and I get the stroller. Logan hates his car seat and doesn’t much like being confined to the stroller since he can’t look around much, so grocery trips typically involve quite a bit of wailing.

Yesterday though, we tried something else. I got Logan ready for his carseat, attached the hip belt of the ergo to myself and all three of us took our usual places in the car. Once at the store, I laid out a blanket on the backseat, put Logan into it and then “attached” him into the ergo. It was cold out and I really should’ve put another pair of pants on him, but as soon as we hit the store Logie was transformed. Chomping on his fists, he just looked around happily at all the things and people, letting out happy sounds here and there.

After about 20 minutes, he just passed out and stayed passed out until it was time to go. No wailing. No unhappiness (other than the brief cold). Just a very stimulated, cute baby.

Other than happy baby, there are a few upsides to the ergo.. For one, it saves space. No more huge carseat in cart, or stroller + cart which kind of just looks ridiculous. Also, while people are prone to look at your baby, they’re a lot less likely to want to touch, and if you’re really worried about it, there’s always the nite-nite overhang. It’s a lot faster to buckle up the ergo rather than drag out the stroller – which makes it a lot less of a chore, and more of a fun thing to do with baby.

As a downside, if it was just me and baby and my husband wasn’t coming with us, bending down to get to the lower aisles or to heave heavy things would be a bit of an adventure. However, since I didn’t have to worry about that, it was just about as perfect as it gets. I love you, ergo!