Another month has passed, and there hasn’t been terribly much change – but some. I think I went from 147 to 142lbs this month and most of my postpartum pain is gone. I had some terrible sciatic nerve pain for about 2-3 months postpartum, and I’m glad to report that it’s gotten much better. Thank you, body. I appreciate it. There are still some days where I move in all the wrong ways and send some shooting pains all the way down my left leg, but that used to be EVERY day. *knock on wood*
I’m starting to feel pretty strong again. I can walk, I can run (though I run out of breath pretty more quickly than I used to), I can run errands, I can lift (WAY better than I used to… thank you, ~17lbs baby), I have some time to myself while baby naps, I’m emotionally stable, I’m completely in love with my family, I’m comfortable going out in public with baby… in short, things are going pretty well.
My postpartum depression peaked around 6 weeks and then got gradually better. Whether it has to do with the hormonal birth control, the supplements or just got better by itself, I’m very thankful for it. I was not doing well those first two months. Logan becoming more predictable helped a lot, and re-evaluating my expectations did too. Rather than yearning for some semblance of my old life, I accepted my new life and embraced how things are going to be from now on.
I learned to be ok with the fact that Logan now runs this place. I learned to plan my days differently and keeping an open mind as to the schedule. As Logan became more interactive and happy, I fell more and more in love with him. Mothering turned from a new, demanding job that I didn’t know how to feel about yet into something I look forward to every single day. Even the worst days become happy when my baby smiles at me.
We haven’t figured out how to get back into the gym yet, but since I’m still steadily losing weight and getting quite a lot of “unintentional” exercise anyway, we’re in no rush. I think the gym daycare here doesn’t accept infants under 6 months, anyway.
I’m starting to put more effort into myself again. When I go out, I do my hair and make up and dress up. I shower daily (though I’ve always done that, anyway. I was lucky enough to have people to watch the baby while I took 20 minutes off), I put on make up every morning (not for other people or social pressure, but because I want to) and I try to generally wear nice clothes that work on my current body.
My collar bones have resurfaced, as well as my hipbones. I’m kind of like a kid in a candy store with bones – I like touching them. Probably because I was overweight for most of my life. Of course, touching them limited to when I’m alone. I can do without looking like a freak in public, haha.
All in all, I’m happy. If I keep losing about 4lbs a month, I should feel like a champ at 6 months postpartum. At least, I truly hope so. My goal is to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight by the time Logan turns 9 months old – that gives me 5 months to lose about 17 lbs. Totally doable.
On March 2nd, I’ve scheduled a haircut appointment. This is my first haircut since August 2011, and I’m so glad I made it. I’ve been shedding like a dog lately, and getting a hair trim and layers will help a lot. Besides, I always feel like a new woman after getting a haircut.
So, there you have it. That’s me 4 months postpartum. In most aspects of my life I’m back to normal, and those few “wonky” months of my life were totally worth it for my baby boy.