This Is How I MomSolving the puzzle of motherhood one piece at a time

I think this will be the last postpartum update. It took 9 months to bake a kid, and it took 9 months to get (mostly) back to normal. I might do a 12-month one, provided my body changes more, but it’s unlikely.

I weighed in this month at 129.4lbs, which means I lost about 4lbs since my 7-month update. I really had to crack down and adjust my diet to see continued results, so 2lbs/month is pretty good in my book. I would like to lose another 4, but I fit into most of my old clothes (minus some jeans) and I don’t think I look too bad. I’ve upped my exercise/strength training routines and things are definitely falling into place.

I still get the random agonizing backaches that I never had prior to giving birth. I definitely relate them to either my body being stretched out of whack during pregnancy or the epidural I received in the hospital. I haven’t seen a doctor for it though, as the frequency has dramatically reduced.

It always amazes me that at the hospital I thought my 8-pound baby was heavy to pick up and carry around and – in my Percocet-induced awkward state of mind – wondered how I would manage to always, always hold and carry him if it makes my arms hurt so much. He’s now weighing in at 23lbs and while I objectively know that he’s pretty heavy, he doesn’t really feel that heavy to me. Definite mommy guns at work, there!

This is me at 9 months postpartum. Not the best pictures, but it’s been a busy month – we took Logan to Yellowstone! (next post will be about that) – and you get the idea.

Another month has passed, and there hasn’t been terribly much change – but some. I think I went from 147 to 142lbs this month and most of my postpartum pain is gone. I had some terrible sciatic nerve pain for about 2-3 months postpartum, and I’m glad to report that it’s gotten much better. Thank you, body. I appreciate it. There are still some days where I move in all the wrong ways and send some shooting pains all the way down my left leg, but that used to be EVERY day. *knock on wood*

I’m starting to feel pretty strong again. I can walk, I can run (though I run out of breath pretty more quickly than I used to), I can run errands, I can lift (WAY better than I used to… thank you, ~17lbs baby), I have some time to myself while baby naps, I’m emotionally stable, I’m completely in love with my family, I’m comfortable going out in public with baby… in short, things are going pretty well.

My postpartum depression peaked around 6 weeks and then got gradually better. Whether it has to do with the hormonal birth control, the supplements or just got better by itself, I’m very thankful for it. I was not doing well those first two months. Logan becoming more predictable helped a lot, and re-evaluating my expectations did too. Rather than yearning for some semblance of my old life, I accepted my new life and embraced how things are going to be from now on.

I learned to be ok with the fact that Logan now runs this place. I learned to plan my days differently and keeping an open mind as to the schedule. As Logan became more interactive and happy, I fell more and more in love with him. Mothering turned from a new, demanding job that I didn’t know how to feel about yet into something I look forward to every single day. Even the worst days become happy when my baby smiles at me.

We haven’t figured out how to get back into the gym yet, but since I’m still steadily losing weight and getting quite a lot of “unintentional” exercise anyway, we’re in no rush. I think the gym daycare here doesn’t accept infants under 6 months, anyway.

I’m starting to put more effort into myself again. When I go out, I do my hair and make up and dress up. I shower daily (though I’ve always done that, anyway. I was lucky enough to have people to watch the baby while I took 20 minutes off), I put on make up every morning (not for other people or social pressure, but because I want to) and I try to generally wear nice clothes that work on my current body.

My collar bones have resurfaced, as well as my hipbones. I’m kind of like a kid in a candy store with bones – I like touching them. Probably because I was overweight for most of my life. Of course, touching them limited to when I’m alone. I can do without looking like a freak in public, haha.

All in all, I’m happy. If I keep losing about 4lbs a month, I should feel like a champ at 6 months postpartum. At least, I truly hope so. My goal is to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight by the time Logan turns 9 months old – that gives me 5 months to lose about 17 lbs. Totally doable.

On March 2nd, I’ve scheduled a haircut appointment. This is my first haircut since August 2011, and I’m so glad I made it. I’ve been shedding like a dog lately, and getting a hair trim and layers will help a lot. Besides, I always feel like a new woman after getting a haircut.

So, there you have it. That’s me 4 months postpartum. In most aspects of my life I’m back to normal, and those few “wonky” months of my life were totally worth it for my baby boy.

I started my pregnancy at 125 pounds.. which is slightly more than my happy weight (120), but a certainly acceptable weight range. I ended my pregnancy at around 180 pounds… which is a much, much less acceptable weight range and definitely nowhere near my happy weight. In fact, that’s almost as much as I weighed back in my teens, when I decided I’d had enough of being chubby.

I dropped quite a bit in the first two post-partum weeks. The first time I weighed myself at 4 weeks PP I was down to 157 pounds. Now, at 9 weeks PP, I am down to 149 pounds and I’m going pretty reliably at 1 pound a week. However, this is not the ‘effortless’ weight loss I had envisioned. I am eating around 1200-1400 calories a day and I get a lot of exercise due to the little bean and his needs. This is pretty hard work. The only upside is that the weeks pass by pretty quickly and usually I have little time to eat anyway, so the weight loss seems decently fast.

Another plus is that my body weight is distributed totally different than how it was when I was at my high weight in my teens. I don’t look like a blob, I actually have a pretty good shape.. with a few extra pounds for my liking. It’s pretty hard to believe that I do weigh almost 150 pounds – if I ventured a guess, I would’ve said I’m between 130-140. Which is a great thing! It might mean I could feel pretty good about myself when I’m *actually* between 130 and 140. At current speed, that should take me until about… March. But with this cute little bundle, March is only a blink of an eye away.

I can’t wait to see how much he’ll have grown and changed by March!

On another note, the little guy is getting his 2-month shots tomorrow. I’m keeping the tylenol ready… but I’m scared. He’s such a peaceful, happy, inquisitive little guy.. I hate to see him unhappy and in pain.